Thank you to those of you who have checked in to see what we know about whatever is wrong with me. I met with the neuromuscular specialist yesterday and heard the excellent news that it is not neuromuscular so that rules out ALS, PLS and MDA (SMA).

The bad news is we still do not know what is wrong.

However, the good news is a wonderful Christmas present as that was my greatest fear.

We will continue to wait. Upon seeing my records I learned that there are strong suspicions on the part of my neuro that this is Multiple Sclerosis and if so, time will tell. In the meantime, I am thankful that I can still walk :) and do not have a neuromuscular disease!

Many thanks and I wish you all a wonderful Christmas!! We plan to have an awesome one here!!

Not Me! Monday

This week I most certainly did not tattle on a rude clerk to a manager in a store, especially not in front of my six year old. After all, I tell her not to tattle so much all of the time! I also did not consider finding the rude clerk while she was at her lunch break (in the mall food court) to share my thoughts on her poor customer service skills.

I did not "lose" my temper with several people this past week during the PMS week from h*ll, right?

And I did not tell my mother that I was wearing a hat in a restaurant because my hair needed to be washed and was stuck to my head. I also did not tell her no when she told me to take it off and comb my hair and then proceed to tell her that I LOVE my hat and this is my style. She did not look at me like I'm a nut :) I'm in my early forties and very mature, right?

And my daughter did not request a cookie cake for her birthday instead of one of my delicious homemade cakes (see previous "not me" Monday posts in my blog for pictures). I did NOT feel great relief upon hearing that I didn't have to bake it, either, right? Further humiliation is always fun...not...

Thanks for stopping by!!!! And click the "not me Monday" above to read more not me's and visit the home of not me's :)

insensitive?

Next week I am planning to post pictures of my children "then and now" and do some real blogging on the loves of my life but today something is just crying out inside of me to be shared. I really do not mind if no one but me ever reads this but I need to get it out.

I am a sensitive person. I have been told this all of my life. How do I overcome that or should I? Isn't it sensitivity that helps us become in tune with other's feelings? Contribute to our sense of altruism? Keeps us from become selfish and uncaring and insensitive?

But being sensitive has not helped me in many ways. When in a job and I find out that co-workers are talking about me, it hurts and is hard to ignore and yet almost impossible to confront in a professional manner.

In families, little things are said or done and it sticks with me. It hurts. With friends it is the same way and sometimes I find myself ending friendships because of it.

I am sure that I have wounded, especially with words. I am also quite certain that most of the time it was completely taken out of context and I probably do the same exact thing.

So IF anyone reads this and has some ideas on how I can overcome this overly sensitive personality/disposition, please share.

Christmas shopping-gimpy style

I have lost track of how many times I have attempted to finish my Christmas shopping but my legs do NOT cooperate. After hearing from several relatives that I need a cane, I am finally convinced I will try it.

I am officially stubborn.

No shocking intakes of breath?

Crickets.

Everyone who knows me already knew this?? Okay, I get it....nothing new here.

So this weekend I am going to have to ride in one of those wheelchair thingies. Yep. I am going to do it so I can finish shopping.

First Randy will have to drive me to another city so I won't see anyone I know. Other cities have better stores though anyway....like Target.

So proud~

Last night was our boy scout troop Court of Honor and Christmas party celebration. I am so proud of John and Josh for the time and effort they have put into their troop, their merit badges and the leadership qualities they have shown! I believe that so many things they learn and do will help them in life and I hope that they stay involved. Right now they are choosing which Eagle Scout project they want to work on and get approved. Time has flown!

I am also so thankful that my husband is so involved and that our leader and his family give to the troop so unselfishly.

not me!

NOT ME! Monday again and being the very imperfect person that I am I love to blog about the nutty stuff I certainly did NOT do.......

I did NOT wipe the new puppy's derriere with a baby wipe (huggies even) whenever he pooped outside before bringing him in.

I did NOT get caught by another mom at the school while doing the act in the sentence above and she did NOT exclaim, "Wow! You are ...ummm...NICE!~"

I did NOT buy myself more than one (cough) venti peppermint mocha twist from Starbucks for every Christmas shopping trip I made this week!

I did NOT bribe Rachel with snacks so that she would smile and act great during her photography session this past Tuesday.

I did NOT drive around for hours to get aforementioned new puppies this past week and get lost..several times....not me. My kids did NOT know their way around better than I did!

I did NOT have to ask them if the light was red or green because they have better vision than I do. After all, I am the driver, right?

Have a great Monday!

Both puppies are doing well and seem to enjoy each other's company. The funny thing is that Max, the cocker spaniel who is about a quarter of the size of Leo, the labradoodle puppy, is seemingly taking the dominant lead. I was worried about him being bullied but if the last 12+ hours are any indication, no worries there.

The best part is seeing Rachel and Liz enjoy them. It is so cute and I am determined to get some pictures this weekend.

The kids all had their last week of school this past week. Lindsey is concerned about one of her classes but I think she did fine and now we have around three weeks of no necessary long trips in the car. Rachel had her award ceremony at Daisies (girl scouts) yesterday and received numerous prizes and badges. Her favorite was an inflatable chair for selling so much candy!

Monday night John and Josh have their scout Christmas party and I have baking and sewing (badges) to do to get ready for that. How I love this time of year!

Thanks for visiting!

Christmas bliss is a puppy...or two.

Santa is just crazy. He brought us a cocker spaniel puppy and tomorrow he is bringing a labradoodle! He couldn't carry them around on the sleigh and they were ready for homes.

We are typically "rescue" dog people and have done it many times. We've had mutts, labs, cocker spaniels, etc. and unfortunately we've had bad experiences with them being sick (worms a few times) so we have decided to go a different route this time. We wanted dogs who would grow up with the kids and be around for a very long time hopefully.

Santa has other gifts designated for the kids, too, but both Liz and Rachel were longing for a pet other than Bubbles the fish who, while wet and energetic, is difficult to cuddle without definite demise.

Other than our two days of supplemental classes for the older kids, someone is almost always home. I will probably take them with us when we go to school most days as there are plenty of parks and places along the way to hang out and Rachel loves being outdoors anyway.

We are excited!!!! Aren't we silly?

Not Me!

This week I did NOT allow Rachel to watch Christmas movies BEFORE doing her school work (we homeschool). Just because I LOVE the excitement she shows around this time of year and fear that this will be the last year she believes in Santa does NOT mean I would reverse work and play, right? Humph.

I did NOT go back into the same department store and buy multiple items of the same kind (but different colors) because of a huge sale. The department store people did NOT become giddy because I was spending money in their store over and over. I would NOT buy male relatives the same gift for Christmas partly because of a huge deal, would I NOT? :)

I did NOT spend an hour reading various blogs when I could have been resting with this awful cold.

I did NOT cry in the doctor's office again when she put her hand on me and told me she was praying for me. Surely I can keep it together better than that!

I did NOT stand around, kids in tow, and observe a guy dressed in drag and then proceed to stay there to observe the reactions of OTHER people when they realized he was a guy dressed in drag!

Thank you so much for stopping by! I love visitors! If you have a second, sign my guest book and post a link to your blog so I can visit!

jennifer

Today I was thinking of a friend who died. She was a very good friend. We lived near each other and hung out and had kiddos similar ages. She had a GREAT laugh and disposition. When things became stressful or insane, she would just laugh....and laugh...Sometimes I thought she was bordering on hysteria but that just made us both laugh more.

She died. I won't go into how...actually they don't really know the cause. It was some sort of flu like episode. This has been a few years and her husband remarried. Her husband was our friend first and I am SO VERY happy for him. His new wife seems very sweet. But when I look at his picture I think of her. When I look at her kids' pictures I think of her.

I know people need to move on, I know they deserve happiness and love but I cannot believe that someone can be here one minute and gone the next. Just like my uncle, my cousin's brother, my grandmothers, my nephew and my friend.

I want to know where they are. Where are they really?

Gratitude List:

birthday cake with chocolate butter cream frosting
kids here for a birthday party...all but one who is studying for finals
a warm house
lots of food
clothing
tons of love

How embarrassing that would have been- if I cared.

If I cared I would have been embarrassed. I almost fell. Everyone in our section of the restaurant looked up. I have lost count of how many times this has happened now. Most of the time what transpires is that my body, with the exclusion of my left leg, continues moving in the direction that my mind is going. It's hard to describe but happens mostly when I stand up or turn. I have absolutely no warning and next thing I know I am struggling to stay vertical.

I'm not even sure why I do not care but what people think of me being a klutz is just not anywhere in the top 1000 on my priority list.

It's been a bad health day but a good day otherwise :)

Gratitude list:

1. My family..this is a list in and of itself :)
2. My five senses.
3. My doctors
4. Air
5. Sunshine
6. Music-my preference right now-Christmas
7. Christmas decorations everywhere
8. Each day
9. Holidays
10. no pain at the moment

I picked up my records today to take to the Neuro-muscular specialist in 19 days (if I were counting). Here is what he typed "Patient has hyperreflexia (with a bilateral positive Hoffman's and a jaw jerk) and a family history of Spinal Muscular Atrophy: Remaining considerations include primary lateral sclerosis, demyelinating disease or other structural or inflammatory disease of the brainstem."

They feel they have ruled out the brainstem stuff with the last MRI. I still think this is just transient and one day I will wake up and feel normal again.

What is up with this?

Today I took three of my kids to the mall which is a very brave thing for me...or crazy? I go to the mall about three times a year at this point, if that. I enjoyed their enjoyment and it was definitely worth it but why are people getting right in our faces now and trying to sell us stuff from their booths??? Why are the malls allowing this? This is so annoying. I had to tell the same people at least three times NO. Why can't any of them speak English clearly either?

More not me revelations

I did NOT sweet talk two sales people into two huge savings this week.....nine dollars off of a triple chocolate cream cake and half off of a purse...not me!

I did NOT spend some of the Christmas money that my mommy and daddy gave me on a huge new black purse and three bags in various animal prints and a new wallet and a new cell phone holder! I did NOT squeal with excitement as I organized my new purse and bags and show everyone who would even glance my way. NOT ME! How immature!

I did NOT let my kids eat pecan and pumpkin pie for breakfast the day of and the day after Thanksgiving! Aren't pecans and pumpkins healthy?

I did NOT threaten to tape my twitching eye shut, cut off my eyelashes or hold it open with a toothpick.

I am NOT counting down the days until Christmas :)